Ah! The Joys of Parenting

Here are some things that only parenting allows you to do. It follows that, if you don't want to do any or all of these, don't even think about that bundle of joy! (Statutory warning: I've been a parent for only four years; so this list is liable to change as my work experience increases.)

• Chant about brushing, bathing and eating as you would a prayer
• Try to fight a range of fears: monsters, strange sounds, whether the body can crack and break up, darkness, strangers, cockroaches and other bugs...
• Answer endless questions about bodily functions, including throwing up and the like
• Have a ready, rapid, thought-on-your-feet, and reasonably believable answer to any unforeseen 'why'
• Devise endless games and conversation to motivate eating
• Think up all the stories and rhymes you can, and make up your own when all else fails
• Play with dolls (or at ball) all over again
• Learn to read out loud better than they teach at all those voice-modulation classes
• Think back to how your parents 'disciplined' you
• Be prepared, awake and alert at any hour of the day or night
• Grope and grope for ways to keep the over-energetic, extremely inquisitive, and ever-ready-to-play-but-not-ready-to-sleep thing busy
• Pray for schooldays and groan at holidays
• Get in touch with your rusting imagination
• Witness the creation of an individual

I guess the list will never end. But more additions that you can think of are welcome.